Life Is an Art

                                                             Life Is an Art

I had an easel, paint, brushes, everything I needed…I was at the beach. My plan was to draw the sun at dawn. It was beautiful. The colors of the sky, the "burning" sea, the breeze that was blowing slowly and the delicate, golden sand…
"God, I can't believe I'm here and I can see this…" I said to myself, knowing that no one would come at 6 am at the beach to see the gorgeous sunrise.
I was arranging my stuff, when I heard footsteps. I looked in the side where the sound was coming from. It was a quite tall guy, with black hair. He was walking, looking at the ground, his hands in his pockets. I couldn't see his face clearly, but he was looking at me. He suddenly stopped and took off his jacket, then his shoes.
"He wants to swim now? Is he crazy?" I asked myself. Then he lifted his head and looked towards me. He was crying bitterly, but he wasn't talking. He turned to the sea and started walking towards it, going in the cold water. It had covered his knees, but he kept walking.
"He wants to kill himself…" I knocked down my equipment and ran towards him, going in the cold water. My dress started floating and my body started to shiver.
"Hey!" I shouted and he turned, showing the sadness on his face. I came closer to him, only 4 steps away from him.
"Why would you do that? Why do you think you were born, so that you would kill yourself?
You don't know what happened to me…
You're right, I don't. But I know that it's not worth it to kill yourself. Let's go on the shore and explain me everything that happened." He refused a few times, but he finally accepted.
"It's a good thing I brought 2 blankets with me.
Thank you.
No problem." I gave him one blanket and sat next to him.
"I'm Kazumi. What's your name?
Kazumasa, but people call me Shou.
You mean your band calls you like.
How did you know? I hope you're not…
Oh, don't worry; I like you guys, but not like that.
Oh, thanks." He had a little smile at the corner of his mouth, but it faded away fast.
"So, what happened?
I just caught my girlfriend cheating on me.
Oh…
We've been together for 3 months…
She only wanted your money and fame.
I discovered that today. I came home late from a concert and I heard her moaning in the bedroom. I peeked in and saw her having sex with another guy…
You'll forget her. It happened to me too…
I'm sorry for you…
You don't have to be. I'm happier now, even though sometimes I would love to have someone by my side at the right moments.
How was he like?
He wanted to be with me constantly, even when I needed my space. He wasn't cursing in my presence. It was annoying.
Why?
Because if someone wants to say something, she or he should say. At least that's what I'm doing…
You're right with that.
Thanks." I pressed my knees to my chest and smiled, looking at the sun.
"Are you cold?
Only a bit. But it's okay. Thanks anyway." He offered to give me his blanket, but I refused.
"So, why are you here so early?
I wanted to draw the sun at dawn, but it's kind of late for that already…
Oh…It's my fault you couldn't…I'm sorry…
Oh, don't worry. I can come any time to do this.
Thank you for saving my life…You opened my eyes and made me see that it's not worth it to do that." I looked at him and giggled slightly. He came closer and caressed me on the head. Shou tilted his head and our lips met. While we were kissing, the rays of the fresh sunrise were lighting us. He pulled away slowly, only a few centimeters between us.
"Shou, that was…
Perfect." He took me in his arms, putting me between his legs. Shou wrapped his arms around me, holding me close to him. He kissed me on the cheek, making me smile. Then he put his chin on my shoulder, his breath on my neck. We were watching the sun, listening to the sound of the waves that were breaking at the shore. My eyes started closing, losing sight of the light; Shou's warmness and love getting closer to my body and heart.
"You are going to die Kazumi…
No!
Because of me…
No!
You Kazumi…
No! Leave me alone! I don't want to die!" I woke up, crying of fear. As I looked around, I saw Shou on the bed that was next to mine. He was sleeping peacefully, his black hair shining in the moonlight that was coming from the window.
There was silence in the room, but in my mind I was screaming. I sighed…The tears were blurring my vision. I put my head back on the pillow and used my sleeve to wipe the tears. But I couldn't sleep anymore. I went downstairs, careful not to wake up Shou or my parents. I went in the kitchen and took a bottle of milk and some poppy seeds. I put them to boil and sat on a chair, waiting. As I was lost deep in my thoughts, I couldn't hear anything, but I felt a hand on my shoulder.
"Holy shit! Shou! You scared the hell out of me!
I'm sorry…What are you doing here?
I can't sleep.
Me neither.
You want some milk with poppy seeds?
Sure." He took a seat and looked out the window, playing with his fingers.
"I know it's kind of late but how did "we" get to my house? Did my parents call?
No.
Then how?
It was written on a piece of paper, tied to your keychain.
And they let you stay?
Yes, I told them everything.
They believed you?
Mhm." I poured milk in 2 cups and gave one to Shou.
"Thanks Kazumi.
You're welcome." After moments of silence, Shou looked at me. I was thinking again, looking at my reflection in the liquid, a gloomy expression on my face.
"Why are you sad?" I sighed heavily and looked at Shou.
"It's nothing…
Kazumi, what happened? Please, tell me…Maybe I can help you." He got up and came next to me, leaning against the table. I put my hand on the table and the other one on my knee. Shou put his hand on mine and grabbed it, holding it tight.
"I heard you crying in the bedroom. Why were you crying?
You've had nightmares, right?
Of course, everyone has. You had a nightmare?
Yeah…
And what happened in your nightmare?
I can't remember…" I hesitated and lied to him. Shou sighed and smiled, hugging me. I put my hands on his back and giggled.
"Now I feel sleepy…
Me too…" I yawned and rubbed my eyes. Shou picked me up, bridal-style, and went in the bedroom.
"Could you sleep with me tonight Shou? Please?
Okay…" He laid me on the bed and lay next to me, embracing me.
"Good night Shou…
Good night Kazumi." He hugged me tighter and kissed me on the cheek, smiling.
The next morning, I woke up, noticing Shou wasn't there. I went in the bathroom and finished there, getting out of it. I stopped in the hallway before going in the kitchen. I was listening to what Shou was talking to my parents.
"I heard Kazumi crying last night. She said she had a nightmare, but she didn't tell me what it was about…
She's been having nightmares like those since she was 15.
What are they about? Why do they scare her so much?
It's his entire fault…her ex-boyfriend, Kenji. He…
He wanted to kill me. Come and I'll explain you." He nodded and got up, saying goodbye to my parents. We went outside and headed to the beach. My hands were in my pockets and Shou had his arms around his body. He moved his hand and put it in my pocket, grabbing my hand. I sighed and looked forward.
"A few years ago, I met Kenji through a friend and went with him at a concert. We started going out then. Then he cheated on me with a girl because I refused to have sex with him. I broke up with him and he told me that I'm going to regret it and that when I'll die, I'll die because of him.
Did he try?
He tried a lot of times. He almost hit me with his car and stabbed me on an alley, close to my house and he was arrested, but I'm still afraid that he may come back. Since then, I've been having nightmares of Kenji." He stopped and so did I. I turned, looking at him and he came closer to me. Shou hugged me, whispering in my ear, slowly.
"It won't happen again.
What do you mean?
I'll defend you at any cost." I hugged him tight and put my head on his shoulder. Shou put his hand on my hair and started caressing me. He took a step backward and looked in my eyes, making me look down shyly and blush madly. He lifted my chin and came closer and closer, kissing me slowly and fragile. I put my arms around the nape of his neck. Then we stopped for a moment to breathe.
"Kazumi…I know that we met 2 days ago, so we barely know each other…But, do you love me?
Yes, I love you Shou.
Then will you spend the rest of your life with me? I know it's too soon, but…
Shou…I will marry you." He crouched and picked me up, high in the air, and then he put me down. He smirked and kissed me, smiling.
"I love you Kazumi.
I love you too.
But, now, how are we going to explain this to your parents?
We'll have to see. Let's go.
Okay." We went back, my hand in his, smiling at each other. When we got home, my parents weren't there.
"Mom, dad?
Hey! There's a note on the table. They went to your grandparents for 10 weeks.
That long?
Mhm…
Uff…What are we going to do until then?
I have an idea, since we are married…
You mean…?" He nodded and took my hands in his, looking deeply into my eyes.
"You want to try it, with me?" I nodded and he picked me up, my legs around his waist. Shou put one hand on my back and he other one on my butt, holding me not to fall. He started kissing me, heading to the bedroom. Shou kicked the door and went towards the bed. We lay on the bed, Shou on top of me, kissing me passionately. I took off his jacket while he was taking off my jeans.
I was digging my nails into his pink, soft skin, which was becoming redder because of the pain that followed. After the last climax, he collapsed on the other side of the bed, our bodies wet and tired. A few minutes later, he was behind me, embracing me, his hand holding mine tight.
"Shou…
Nani?
You were the first one for me…
You are a virgin?!
I was…I hope you're not mad at me…" He gasped in amazement, but he embraced me tighter, leaving small trails of kisses on my neck.
"I could never be mad at you Kazumi. No more secrets from now on, okay?
Okay. I promise." I turned my head, looking at Shou and he smiled, kissing me. He held my hand tighter and we fell asleep.
The following morning, I was woken up by my phone, which was ringing loudly. I took my underwear on, a pair of jeans and a black T-shirt with the Black Veil Brides and ran out of the bedroom with the phone.
"Hello?
Hi sweetheart! How are you?
Hi mom. I'm fine. You?
Fine. How is Kazumasa?
Good, he's sleeping yet.
We're sorry that we left just like that, but there's a family problem…
But you're coming back soon, in 10 weeks, right?
I'm sorry to say it, but…we'll have to stay for at least a year. Maybe even more, we don't know…
What?! Why?!
There are some personal problems and we have some business to do here. I know it's going to be difficult for the 2 of you, but I know that you can do anything, especially now, that Kazumasa is with you…
Mom, I have to tell you something…
Oh, sweetie, I have to go…
But, mom…
We'll talk later, okay? Bye. Take care of yourselves
But…" I wanted to tell her the great news, but she had hung up. It was too late…I put the phone on the table and went in the bathroom, closing the door. I sat next to the corner of the bathtub, on the cold marble floor, keeping my knees close to my chest, my hands on my face, my eyes closed.
"So many problems…The world has no mercy for useless souls…" I whispered softly to myself. I rested my head against the wall and looked at the sunrays that were running through the crystal clear glass. I stayed like that for a few minutes, thinking about my past, present and future. Then I heard a knocking on the door.
"Kazumi, are you all right?
Yes. I'm fine.
May I come in?
Wait a second…
Okay." I got up and washed my face. I looked at my reflection in the mirror. I saw a sad face with a flushed expression, drops of water on my chin and nose, falling on the surface of the sink. I toweled my face and opened the door. Shou was on the couch, reading a magazine. I got out of the bathroom and saw Shou putting the magazine on the table and getting up, coming towards me. He hugged me and kissed me softly. I put my arms around his waist and my head on his shoulder.
"Are you okay?
I'm okay. Don't worry.
Okay…We should eat something. I'll prepare breakfast. You should relax a bit." I nodded and he kissed my cheek, making a smile appear at the corner of my mouth. I was sitting on the couch, watching TV, when Shou came with 2 plates of pancakes. He gave me one and sat next to me.
"Why are you upset?
I talked with mom an hour ago.
Did you tell her?
She hung up before I could tell her. She told me that they are going to stay for a year or more because of family business and problems.
Everything's going to be fine…You don't have to worry. I'll be by your side." He put both plates on the table and sat me in his lap, holding me in a romantic hug. He kissed my shoulder then looked at me, smiling. I smiled back and put my hand in his, resting my head on his shoulder.
"I love you Kazumi.
I love you too." Shou kissed my forehead and looked at me, holding me tighter.
2 days later, while Shou was at the studio for rehearsal, I was in the bathroom, brushing my teeth. After I got out, I went outside a little bit for shopping. I bought fruits, vegetables, except cucumbers, Shou's green enemies, cereals and soymilk, his favorite. I passed by a pharmacy and stopped in front of it. I sighed and went in. I asked the clerk for a pregnancy test. She gave me a box and told me what to do. I paid for it and left, going home. Once I got home, I put all the food in the fridge and went in the bathroom. An hour later, I called Shou, but I wasn't going to tell him until he wasn't home.
"Hi Shou!
Hi Kazumi! How are you, beautiful?
Happy. You?
Happy that you're happy. But why are you happy?
Are you done with rehearsal?
I have one more song and I'm done. Why?
When you come home, I'll tell you. It's a surprise.
Okay. Is it a good surprise?
Of course it is.
I love surprises.
Okay, glad you do.
We'll see each other home. I love you. Bye!
I love you too. Bye Shou!" I went in the bathroom again to make sure that it was what I had been hoping for and I wasn't hallucinating. I looked at the result again and squealed of happiness. 15 minutes later, I heard the door opening.
"Kazumi?
I'm in the bathroom Shou!" He came up and knocked on the door. He leaned against the wall and waited. I opened the door and he smiled, hugging me.
"So, what's the surprise?
I have 2 surprises: 1. I bought you soymilk…
I like that…
And 2…I'm pregnant.
You are? Oh my god! This is the happiest day of my entire life." He kissed me and smiled brightly. I took him by the hand and showed him the result. Shou was smiling as he had never done in his life.
"Should we tell your band mates too?
Of course. This way, they'll meet you too. I'm going to bring the phone and call them.
Okay." He kissed me and ran in the living room, jumping of happiness. He brought it and turned the phone on speaker and put it on the table.
"Hello?
Saga-san!
Oh, hi Shou! How are you?
I'm the happiest man on earth.
Why?
If you want to know…" He gave them the address of my house and smiled at me.
"Wrote it?
Yeah.
Okay. See you later.
Okay. Bye." He hung up and embraced me.
"I really opened your eyes, didn't I?
More than you would ever know. And now we are married, you are pregnant…I would say we have the perfect life together and you are perfect for me." I kissed him and smiled at him. Half an hour later, Shou's band mates came to my house and Shou offered to open the door for them.
"Come in guys.
Wow. Nice house Shou-san. So, what happened?
Who is she?
Is she your girlfriend?
No, she's my wife.
Your wife?! Congratulations!
We were waiting for you to get married too.
Thanks guys. Kazumi, come here please.
Hi. I'm Kazumi. Nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you too Kazumi.
And now…Another thing…" Shou said smiling brightly, his hand on my tummy, rubbing it gently.
So soon?!
How?
Let's say it was the beginner's luck…
Lucky you…" They said and we both smiled, looking at each other.
"So, how did you 2 meet?
Yeah, tell us too.
Okay." Shou was kind of embarrassed of how we met, so I offered to tell them.
"So, now you are together, without your parents knowing this and that you're pregnant?
Mhm…
But we are together and that's all that matters. And I love Kazumi very much.
Aww, that's so sweet…" We ate some pizza and spaghetti and drank water and tea. They were telling us about their wives, funny and silly moments. It was a lot of fun and they were great.
My parents found out everything when I told dad on the phone. When mom heard, dad told me that she had fainted. But she was all right. We laughed so hard when we heard that…Shou was literally dying of laughing. Just imagine the moment.
Shou was playing his guitar and singing for us every night. But one night he decided to play another song, a song that I haven't heard for years.
"I've decided to sing another song for you tonight Kazumi.
Really? What song?
Maybe you can guess…" He put his fingers on the guitar's chords and started playing a soft song, like a love song.
"Anything?
Kind of…Wait! Is it "Carolyn" from Black Veil Brides?
Yes.
How do you know it?
I asked your parents, but I also found some stuff in your room and on the computer.
You looked through my stuff?!
It was for a good cause.
Hmm…I know you always do something for a good cause." Shou smiled and continued playing and singing. I was in the 8th month of the pregnancy then, so my belly was pretty big to Shou's happiness.
"Shou, come here. Listen…That's so cute.
It is…" The baby was kicking my tummy, but slowly.
"He likes my music…
No, he likes you. And I love you.
I love you too Kazumi." He put the guitar down and came next to me, kissing me and rubbing my tummy. We fell asleep a few minutes later, my head on his chest and he was holding me tight. Another month past by, almost unnoticed.
It was 2 am and we were both sleeping peacefully. Shou was behind me, his hand on my tummy. I moved a little bit and Shou removed his hand. My eyes were closed, but I frowned, putting my hands on my belly. I got up and looked around. I shook Shou's arm, trying to wake him up.
"Shou…Wake up…
What…?
It's the time…Wake up…
Okay." He got up and rubbed his eyes. We got dressed and started packing for the period I would be in the hospital. After 10 minutes, we left for the hospital. We got there and Shou got out and opened the door, helping me to get out of the car. Shou locked the door and we went in the hospital. The doctors and the nurses put me on a bed and we started moving along the hallway. Shou was holding my hand tight, telling me that everything was going to be fine. Then he was stopped by a nurse who was telling him that he was not allowed to go any further with me. He sat on a chair, next to the door of the room where I was. He could hear only screams coming from the room.
"Is she all right?
It is very hard for her. Please be patient." He got up and put his hands in his hair, sighing. He was asking the same question every time a nurse was coming in or out of the room. He sat again and waited. A few minutes later, he bought some coffee to keep himself awake, but he eventually fell asleep. You could see that he was tired, being awake at 4 am in the hospital.
"Mr. Kohara…Mr. Kohara…Wake up…
Oh, I'm sorry…But I'm very tired…
I can see that.
How are my wife and my baby?
Your wife is fine…
And the baby?
We did all we could…But the baby died at birth. We do not know the causes. It can happen at anytime of the pregnancy…We are very sorry…
Could I…please…see my wife?
Yes, of course." He was lead in the room and came in. I had my eyes closed, but I wasn't sleeping. Shou sat on the chair next to my bed. He took my left hand in his hands and put his forehead on them
"Shou?
Yes…
You're tired…
I know. It must have been very hard for you, wasn't it?
Yeah. But now we are a family. We have a child too…But why are you so sad?
Kazumi…
Is there anything wrong with the baby?" He lifted his head, he was sobbing. It was like the first time I met him…Sad and crying, looking desperately melancholic.
"Kazumi…The baby died…" My eyes widened and I could feel how tears were running down my cheeks. I covered my mouth with my right hand, looking at the ceiling, closing my eyes. Shou got up and sat on the bed, hugging me, keeping me close to his chest. I couldn't say anything…I felt like a part of me died along with the baby. He hugged me tighter and I put my arms around his waist.
"Shh…Don't cry Kazumi…I know it's hard, but we can try again in a few months." I was still sobbing, despite the fact it's been an hour. But we were sleeping. I was still in his arms, my head on his shoulder, and his head on mine.
The next day, Shou was still sleeping. I looked at him, then down. I started crying, looking at the window, at the beautiful day that was. Then his band mates. They weren't talking loud, because they knew how tired Shou was.
"Hey…How are you?
Good…I want to go for a walk if you don't mind…
Can I go with you?
Okay, Tora.
We'll stay here with Shou.
Okay. Thanks.
You're welcome." I went in the bathroom and changed into casual clothes. We went outside and sat on a bench. I felt how a breeze was blowing slowly, drying my tears.
"Kazumi? What happened? Why are you crying?
The baby…He's dead…
What?!
He died at birth…" Tora hugged me, telling me that it wasn't the world's end.
"Thanks Tora…
It's painful; I know…But try to be strong for Shou and yourself too." I nodded and Tora gave me a tissue. He helped me get up and we returned to the room. They helped us pack up and we left, going with our cars in different directions. In the car, we were both silent. I was resting my head against the cold window, looking at the cloudy sky. I sighed sadly, but didn't speak. Shou grabbed my hand, rubbing it with his thumb.
"It's going to be okay Kazumi.
I know Shou…I know.
I love you very much.
I love you too."  He looked at me and smiled a bit, his eyes full of kindness. He turned, looking at the road again, still holding my hand. We got home and got out of the car. He took everything from the trunk and went inside. I stayed a bit, thinking, when I heard him calling me. I went in and he hugged me then kissed me.
"We can do it Kazumi…We can have a child too." I nodded sadly, looking at him. He smiled and picked me up, going in the bedroom. In the moment we went in bed, we fell asleep, holding each other's hand.

1 Year Later

We were at the hospital again; I was pregnant again. I pushed for the last time, with all my strength, red and sweating.
"They are twins…" I smiled, panting and closed my eyes, falling asleep after so much effort. Later, I found myself in a room with 2 more women. One of them was reading a magazine, while the other was feeding her baby. I was starring at her with happiness. She looked at me and smiled. I smiled back and put my head back on the pillow. I heard Shou's voice coming from the hallway. Then he came in, sitting on the bed, taking my hands in his, kissing them.
"Hi beautiful.
Oh, stop it…I'm not as beautiful as you say I am.
Yes, you are. You are more beautiful than I or anyone else would say.
Thank you…
Kazumi…
Yes?
We are the parents of a boy and a girl. They are twins. We did it. You did it more than anyone else." I smiled and he hugged me. He kissed my forehead and looked at me with love.
"I will always love you." I put my head on his shoulder, crying of happiness. He hugged me tighter and put my hand in his, holding it. An hour later, we went to see the kids.
"They are beautiful Shou.
I hope they are both like you…Sweet, beautiful, loveable…
I hope they are like both of us." He smiled and held my hand. We were both looking proudly at them and at each other.
"Do you know what day is today Kazumi?
Not really…
It's the 15th of February…
Yesterday was Valentine's Day.
They were born on Valentine's Day.
I didn't buy you anything…
They…they are the perfect gift for both of us. But I also bought you something…" He got out a beautiful necklace with 2 hearts out of his pocket. He put it around my neck and took me to a mirror.
"Oh, Shou…It's gorgeous…
You look wonderful Kazumi. I love you.
I love you too." He was staying behind me, his arms wrapped around my body. His chin was on my right shoulder. He was smiling brightly, looking at our image in the mirror
"What are their names going to be?
Kazuku and Sakura.
They sound perfect…" We looked into each other's eyes and kissed romantically.

                                                                  The End